The Vent Thread

[✠Kim✝]

So what am I? Your toy?Am I just like that one 'toy' you play with when you are "bored of your other toys" or you "lost all your toys?"
Or am I like that one toy you get really attached to, then you get a new one or find an old on and forget about me.
You probably have no idea what I am talking about.
It fucking hurts OK?

[haley.]

You know what you are to me?
A Friend.

I am going through a very difficult time, and, sorry, but I don't feel like I need to explain myself to you. I put on this happy little face and let people tell me they're lonely, let them tell me their problems, and I grin and bear it when I can't stand it half the damn time, because what they're telling me is something I can DO NOTHING ABOUT, but they keep telling it to me day after fucking day, the same damn problem, and I don't have the guts to say SUCK IT UP, even though I should, because some people just fucking need that.

People may have it rougher than me, but God dammit, I have it a little rough right now. Please take my hints and let me sort this out. I did not throw you away.

I'm just trying to figure out what's best for me right now. Let me. Be. Happy.

It's hard to not be mean. But I'm tired of acting like I'm this nice little girl who loves everyone and everything.

I am not here to be everyone's best friend or role model.

[haley.]

Did... I do something wrong?
Like... I'll do what you want next time, if that's what it takes. I'm really sorry. You say I mean so much to you, but sometimes you... you just don't act like it sometimes. And that's selfish, because I know you care for me and all but... This is how I think. Please try and work with it. Oh God, please, you know how I think, you know I freak out like this, I'm begging you to think about what you're even doing. It's just kind of, uh, not fair. At all. Like, to an extent that I kind of want to cry.

And I cry over you and because of you way too much as it is.

[dizz ✖]

^{...Are you stupid?}
I LIKE YOU.

And like like. Love you, even. Not as friend.

I... I LOVE YOU! I-I LOVE YOU, DAMMIT!! YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BUT I LOVE YOU!

I'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE. STOP FLIRTING WITH OTHER GIRLS! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A FLIRT, I LOVE YOU!

Sometimes I just wanna grab you whenever you're talking to another girl and kiss you.
Slap you in the face, kick you in the balls, and KISS YOU.

^{i feel funny.}

xxx

I love you so much it's not even funny. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met you. You are amazing, funny, and everything I could ask for. You are perfect. Don't ever, ever leave me. Because I don't know what I'd do if you did. I can talk to you about anything, trust you with anything, and I love you. I've only known you for a month or so. So what. We've gotten so close in that period of time. There are people who might hate me for loving you, but I don't care.

xxx

MY MOM IS A TWO-FACED, LYING, BACK-STABBING CUNT.

When friends and family are with us, she's sweet, nice, she praises me; but when we're alone she hits me, screams at me, blames everything on ME.

My brother agrees.

He's sick of college. I'm sick of school.
We're sick of seeing each other only through webcam.

We want to run away. Run away and become two siblings that live happily on the streets stealing bread from fancy restaurants and making money by preforming on the streets. Like you see in movies.
We want to run away to Italy, change our names, where I'll become a Picasso-like artist and he'll own a restaurant chain.

I don't know.

xxx

FUCK PERIODS

I want to rip my vagina out. I wish guys had periods.

[✠Kim✝]

You make me

IRE
MAD
RAGED
ANGRY
FURIOUS

[dizz ✖]

pretty soon you'll regret ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE DONE.

it's unhealthy, really.

fucking bitch. FUCKING HYPROCRITE.

^{what do people see in you...?}

[haley.]

YOU WANNA KNOW THE REASON I NEED THIS THERAPY?
Because you make me feel worthless, sometimes. I love you, so, so much, and I know you... return my feelings, I guess, but... But you have to stop showering them with so much love and so much praise and so much gifts. No matter how many times you tell me that I'm good enough, I can't believe you if you don't show me. Why do you think I can't bring myself to draw or write? Because you have it rammed in my head that I AM NOT AS GOOD AS THEM. And then you tell me how you're sad because you want to be closer to them?

Uh. Put yourself in my shoes for a a MINUTE and think about how that might make me feel.

x x x

IZZY AND I ARE GOING TO BOYCOTT MENSTRUATION
OH MY FUCKING GOD.

x x x

I can't believe I sent you that message. I can't believe I'm still so desperate. I can't believe I can't let go of you.
But please reply. I know you're active on facebook, I know you'll get it soon. I just want a straight answer.

TELL ME YOU HATE ME AND I'LL LEAVE

x x x

Let. It. Go.

x x x

YOU LEFT ME
WHILE I WAS PRACTICALLY DYING
I COULD'VE GONE INTO A COMA
AND YOU LEFT ME
NO, DAD
I'M NOT GOING TO FORGIVE YOU ANYTIME SOON

x x x

Get it through your head!
You draw the same shit over and over. IT'S THE SAME. THING. I don't comment or fav anymore because it isn't worth it. AND ALL. OF YOUR ART. IS TRACED. ALL OF IT, I'VE LOOKED, THERE'S NOTHING IN YOUR GALLERY THAT ISN'T TRACED.
OK, Canon/Self-insert x Canon, I don't mind. But you're just redoing the same character and changing their name BARELY SINCE THEY ALL START WITH A, and pairing them other characters! IT UH, DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. I stopped Pairing my character Haley with Kid because IT WAS WEIRD. Luxembourg is Lara because calling her Haley while I pair her with other characters IS WEIRD. She doesn't look like me, anyway. |:c And she doesn't have carbon copies all over the place. FFFFF
NOBODY IS GOING TO JOIN YOU'RE CONTEST SEUROIJSKMERHKLESJR.

[✠Kim✝]

Dear Christin,

I am jealous of you. You are such a great artist. Everyone I want to talk to, talks to you. You are such a good Role-Player.
I'm like.. the opposite of that.
Everyone else you are friends with are good role-players and they all have such great art, and they're funny.
;u;
Why the hell are you my friend? I am none of those.
I am very happy you are my friend, I am just confused.

I told you I wanted to leave. I told you I felt like I didn't fit in.
You said if I left you would be sad. B-but I never do anything there anyway! Why would you be sad?

That made me feel kind of.. I don't know.. wanted. Happy. Useful.
Then you said "I love you~" I never expected you to say that to me.


Love, Kim.


;u; I-I don't know what the hell this feeling I have right now it. I can't tell if it's good or bad.
I need some sleep.

___________________________

8C I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! NO. NO. NO!
;A;

[dizz ✖]

^{he told me i looked beautiful.}
THEN HE KISSED HER!

^{he hugged me from behind.}
AND HE KISSED HER!

^{he told me i danced perfectly.}
when i have two left feet.

xxx

i am a hypocrite.
i told her i wouldn't, yet i did...
i'm sorry. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.
i love you.
please don't leave me.
if i did something wrong, please please tell me!!
i don't want to lose you.

xxx

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE ON DRUGS.

i don't know what to do. they offered me weed, i said no, they laughed at me and i ran away crying.

xxx

^{do you trace...? i don't think tracing is right...
and why do you watch me? i know you're my friend, but it's not like you comment or fave my art, or read my journals...}

xxx

thank you.
thank you for flattering me, thank you for the compliments, and the encouragements. i love you.
but... i feel so selfish and needy.

NO, ABUELA, I'M NOT HUNGRY.

[__molii ★]

seriously, i do not fucking understand you.

you're the world to me. you're a light to me. i fucking love you, you mean a lot to me. and you still think i do that on purpose?

someday i'm going to explode, and NOFUCKINGONE WILL LIKE IT.

[haley.]

How can you be so sure If you've never been here before?
I don't understand... It can't be that easy.

I love you I hate you I love you I hate you
I can't keep my hands of you
I love you I hate you I love you I hate you

Get back, get away from them
It's all wrong!
Keep calm for a moment,
Look in my eyes...
Get back, get away 'cause
This could get ugly
If you think that i'll let you go...

You're Out of Your Mind

truer words were never spoken.

[haley.]

OK
Maybe it's a little joke/meme that Haley has 'maka tits' / 'tiny a-cups' / 'no chest...'

but sometimes it gets a little... you know
OFFENSIVE.
maybe i'm self-conscious about them.
DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?

LIKE, THE FACT THAT MY BOOBS ARE SMALL IS NOT THE ONLY STRIKING THING ABOUT MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE...

THAT'S KIND OF OFFENSIVE...

[dizz ✖]

Get it through your fucking head, Dizz.
HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.
He never will.

xxx

i love you so much it hurts sometimes.
i fear one day i'll love you so much you'll get annoyed,
^{and won't love me back...}

[__molii ★]

i don't think i can pretend anymore.

[haley.]

FUCK, YOU GUYS

YOUR PROBLEMS AND YOUR HAPPINESS ARE NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY