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Post by Invertedtaco on Aug 27, 2009 11:41:23 GMT -5
No one actually has to take it seriously:
A universe full of Man-eating Garden Gnomes.
Let your imagination carry you from there.
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Post by Ariel on Aug 27, 2009 22:28:52 GMT -5
[ I'm thinking 'choose your own adventure' - I'll toss in one character of mine, next two posters finish off the other two characters, then we can make an EPIC STORY where anything can happen to these three guys (including dying then coming back and/or flying like retarded Superman)]
The only inhabitants of this desolate, skull-littered wasteland are three people, some of the few for many miles around the foresty region. This team strives for one goal, and one goal only - to same the planet from total gnomihilation.
One member is Wycliff, a quiet albino with some boring, shitty dark past that noone cares about and a wristwatch that can shoot lasers from it. He also finds that what occupies the inside of gnome hats - oven-baked pasta with a free side of breadsticks for $13.99, with a liter of Pepsi for extra - delectable.
[ i'm hungry if you can't tell ]
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Post by habu on Aug 28, 2009 12:38:57 GMT -5
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF I want to play too. How do I play? *brick'd* Sorry, not totally familiar with procedure here.
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Post by haley. on Aug 28, 2009 14:24:19 GMT -5
( You play it like this, betch. )
Little did the unsuspecting albino know that this here was Haley territory. She lurked in the treetops, skillfully moving about unsoundly in the cover of leaves and birds nests, as well skulls from her previous victims.
However, Haleys were notorious for being not graceful, so of course she slipped up and nearly killed herself. Making a noise similar to one of a distraught chicken, she crash landed onto the ground with a squawk.
The whole entire reason this Haley was out in about was because a vicious pack of gnomes had killed her mother and non-existent father-figure. After promptly looking out into the desolate wasteland as the wind blew through her hair, she indulged in about an hour of inner monologue that would put Optimus Prime's speeches to shame.
But, back to the problem at hand. She had never seen an albino before, so this oddly colored (or lack thereof, really) creature in her homeland left her quite perplexed. He was obviously in line with those damned gnomes.
She reached for her spear, not paying attention to the fact that she was holding it the wrong way and pointed in it the strangers general direction (she didn't have the best sight in the world. The gnomes had set fire to her sexy, thick rimmed glasses).
"You there," She hissed, trying her best to make her voice not sound like a ten year old girls. "Who are you, and what're you doing here?!"
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Post by Ariel on Aug 28, 2009 16:37:09 GMT -5
Wycliff turned back to the small girl and crossed his arms, "Oh, my. Look at that." He scoffed, "I'm terrified. Really. You falling flat on your face and you widdle backwards crap spear scares me so much." With that, a small smirk appeared on his face, "Now if you'll excuse me, little girl, I have places to be, things to do, and garden statues to eat on."
He then continued walking - hey, he was hungry and tired, he had better things to do than talk with an Haley. Besides - from as far as he could tell, she was only a little girl who was a little on the dumb side.
"...Unless you wanna follow me," he said, pausing. Yes, he didn't really want an annoying, loudmouthed sidekick, but at least it was company in a country occupied by the rare person here and there, rabid squirrels trained in choir, and evil gnomes.
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Post by haley. on Aug 28, 2009 17:29:08 GMT -5
( Gee, Ariel. Thanks. )
Haley blinked dumfoundedly, then looked down at her makeshift spear (how dare albino boy insult it! Her non-existent father figure made her this spear!) and realized it was facing the wrong direction. After fixing it, she stood up straight and resisted the urge to show something at the albino's head.
The one thing you never say to a Haley is how small she is. Whether it be in height, or any place on the human body. Telling her her I.Q is small will just result in her smiling and asking you what an I.Q is, though. "I-I'm not a little girl!" She hissed, crossing her arms and pouting like, well, a little girl. "Hmph! And anyway, you tell me what you're doing here! You're not in line with those gnomes are you?"
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Post by Ariel on Aug 28, 2009 20:00:41 GMT -5
"Uh, no. I'm not. I'm a geriatric good guy," he replied, keeping his arms crossed. He laughed under his breath, raising his hands up slightly in a sign of 'I have no weapons so don't be pissy'. "And no offense, but you look and act like a little girl. And what the hell sorta weapon is that? Some sort of father-figure make it for you before your city burned down or something?"
He sighed - he didn't often run into that much trouble, so maybe he had grown slightly bitter while being alone. This girl would probably leave him alone quickly once he explained that he was not siding with the cookie-cutter villains in this story, the gnomes. Besides, he still had to think up his cliche emo backstory that would get him out of any problem he ever had - why waste time?
He coughed in the slight silence, "And I asked you something. You lost? 'Cause people as, well, defenseless as you shouldn't be just sleeping in the middle of Bat Country."
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Post by haley. on Aug 28, 2009 21:20:32 GMT -5
Haley didn't know what 'geriatric' meant, but in its used context she assumed it meant 'nice' or some such thing. She forget why she was even hostile to him in the first place and decided to bound up happily.
"OK, I believe you, Mr. Geriatric! Hmm.. You look like you have some dark, mysterious past that you often flashback too. Anywho, I'm Haley! I'll help you find your way around this place so you don't die off like the last guy did!"
She stopped, poking her own chin and looking contemplative (or, contemplative as Haley's could seem). "No, I'm not lost... At least... I don't think I am," she smiled.
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Post by Ariel on Aug 28, 2009 22:25:01 GMT -5
"My name isn't 'Mr. Geriatric', geriatric means that I'm normal. Usual," Wycliff replied, slightly annoyed. My god this girl was dense. Way too moodswingy and happy-go-lucky for him, probably, what with his fake emo past and all.
He attempted to smile kindly and offered her one of his pale hands, "I'm Wycliff. I already know my way around here, thank you very much, and I'm pretty drat sure I won't die off here." He looked slightly to his side, almost annoyed, "Even if I do stick out like a sore thumb."
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Post by habu on Aug 29, 2009 11:42:11 GMT -5
(OK....here goes nothing....)
Skrtch....skrtch....skrtch.....Ophelia ran her pocket knife through the same strip of wood again and again, watching, emotionless, as the sliver in the tree grew longer and deeper. She'd been at it for an hour, moving her arm in the exact same position with about as much variety as a machine. Her amethyst eyes blinked slowly, standing out in her pale and expressionless face. They dwarfed her other features to some extent, making her thin nose appear thinner, and her tightly drawn lips look slightly pouting. She was tall for her age, and her raven hair was almost as long. It hung, tangled and lifeless, reaching the back of her knees.
Her frame was thin as a twig, bones jutting out of her joints unpleasantly. Shifting her feet slightly, she began carving another straight line, diagonally, in the opposite direction. After another uneventful half hour or so, she stepped back to admire her handiwork. A crude X stretched from one side of the trunk to the other. It was unmistakable - if anyone lived here, anyone at all, they'd see it and know she was here. Not that it mattered. She'd been alone for so long that she'd lost touch with reality. Leaning against the X, Ophelia's eyes stretched wide, and she giggled shrilly.
(Yeeaaaah.....I don't know. D:)
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Post by haley. on Aug 29, 2009 23:18:40 GMT -5
Haley's are generally nice creatures. At the sight of the pale boys smile, she grinned like a cat and jumped up to throw her arms around his neck. "OK!" She chirped, hanging on him. "It's nice to meet you! I guess I'll tag along so I can avenge my people!"
She blinked for a second. Apparently, she was the last of her kind. Whoever was RPing her sure was undecisive.
Still hugging Wycliff, she turned to peer into the trees. "Hey... Wy-Wy. Did you hear that?"
Also, apparently, she was the useless chick in this story. Every group needs one.
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Post by Ariel on Aug 29, 2009 23:48:23 GMT -5
"Wy-Wy?!" Wycliff asked her, slightly surprised by how openly this girl was acting toward him - like how an asspie would tell their life stories to action figures made of plastic, only hopefully not as retarded. "You must've heard wrong It's Wycliff, with that last little syllable at the end. Hear it?"
He paused, waiting for her reply, but only heard an amazingly faint sound from far-off in the distance - what seemed like either some sort of crazed laughing, or someone with chronic constipation in some village that appears in the woods for no given reason.
"...If that's what you're talking about, then yeah. I hear it," he replied, slight caution in his voice. "If you let go of me, then we can go see what it was and hopefully not die, alright?"
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Post by haley. on Aug 30, 2009 0:30:39 GMT -5
Haley smiled, letting go of her new best friend and crossing her arms behind her back. "Mkay, Wycliff, then. I can make so many nicknames out of it... Anywho, do you have any cool weapon or is you emo past gonna give you one in about two seconds?"
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Post by habu on Aug 30, 2009 10:14:18 GMT -5
Ophelia's ears perked at the sound of another human voice. She could barely hear what they were saying, but she did manage to catch one phrase - "Emo Past." One of her eyes began to drift sideways, and she frustratedly began bashing her head against the tree in hopes of correcting it's movement. It worked, but also succeeded in making her head hurt like heck.
"Emo." She muttered to herself. "An entire subculture of teens with a generally angst-filled outlook on life."
Pushing herself off the tree, she began walking towards the source of the sound, wobbling like a drunkard.
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Post by Ariel on Aug 30, 2009 13:19:11 GMT -5
"Cool weapon? No, not really. Just a shitty lasergun," Wycliff replied flatly, relieved that Haley had finally let go of him. "And as for an emo past, well - as long as you keep this between you and me, I ain't got one, but as long as you pretend I do, it'll get us out of any trouble we run into."
He sighed, still trying to listen to the now-gone far off noise. "It's stopped," he mused to himself, "...But I think I hear footsteps. Keep quiet."
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