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Post by habu on Dec 20, 2009 19:02:25 GMT -5
Please please please stop analyzing this. I thought we had it figured out. I thought we were gonna get over this with time. I THOUGHT I THOUGHT I THOUGHT
Now it's the beginning again.
And you say you don't know what it is.
And that means I can't do anything about it.
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Post by haley. on Dec 21, 2009 1:19:04 GMT -5
I think it's time I step up.
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Post by ✠Kim✝ on Dec 21, 2009 2:11:42 GMT -5
Yes I deleted that last post. I'm still a bit traumatized from last night.
This vent. IT MAKES LITTLE SENSE AND IT IS NOT DIRECTED TO ANYONE IN PARTICULAR, BUT MORE TO JUST WHOEVER.
Maybe I should just give up. Everything is going wrong. Maybe I should just lay back, give up everything and die. I'm just so sick of everything. People would be better off without me. I know they would. I cause so many bad things. So please world, if you have anything to say to me say it to my FACE. I just don't care anymore. I'm not going to change for anyone no matter what. Because if you really want me to change, it shows you don't appreciate who I am. I am me, and I am not fucking perfect. So go ahead if you hate me stop hiding it say it to my fucking face.
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Post by haley. on Dec 21, 2009 21:12:10 GMT -5
YOU LITTLE BITCH
No. No, no, no. I'm not going to pretend I don't see it anymore.
You don't want me. Or Ariel, or Milly, or Hayley. You're done with it. It was a phase. You don't care anymore.
I CARE. I HAVE MADE EVERY ATTEMPT TO REACH YOU. IF YOU LOVED ME LIKE YOU SAID YOU DID, YOU WOULD'VE MAKING THOSE SAME ATTEMPTS.
But you led me on through all this! Why? WHY? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKED UP I AM BECAUSE OF YOU? YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW MUCH I CRIED FOR YOU, HOW MUCH I WOULD'VE DONE FOR YOU.
I just want you to tell me why you didn't just TELL ME. WHY DID YOU JUST IGNORE ME WITHOUT TELLING ME?
I WOULD'VE DONE FUCKING ANYTHING FOR YOU, BAILEY.
ANYTHING! I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING - MORE THAN ANYONE. I WOULD'VE DONE ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR YOU. ANYTHING. I SENT YOU GIFTS - I PAID FOR THAT BAG, I LOOKED FOR WEBSITES THAT WE COULD'VE USED TOGETHER.
Goddammit, I... I focused my life around you. Because I loved you so wholeheartedly. I would've given up everything I had for you. Anything. I would've given it all up if you wanted me to.
I cry about you every single day. When my family goes into another episode like this, when Barbi says she leaving, when Mom talks to that asshole from the internet, when Dad calls and just... when all of that happened, I cried, and I said out loud, hoping that you would hear me, I wish I had Bailey. If I just had her to... to listen to.
I say I love you. What do I know about love?
Fuck you. Bailey Harris, Fuck You. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
Be fucking happy! without me! I don't care! YOU HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA HOW YOU BROKE MY HEART. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIX WHAT YOU HAVE DONE WITH ME.
This is why I don't keep relationships with people.
Kelsey used me then got bored with me.
Alexis moved away and broke her promise.
Kimmey used me as a doormat.
But you... you told me you loved me. You made me feel so amazing.
For this? Do I bore you?
I didn't do anything to you. If I seemed obsessed, it was because I was so worried about you. You never told me anything. But you always looked so strong and smart and mature and...
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I hate people. I seriously hate all of them. They're fucking terrible.
I hate you.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you I hate you I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU HATE YOU |
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Post by haley. on Dec 22, 2009 17:09:45 GMT -5
I'll get over this sooner or later.
And I don't want all of your attention to be on me all the damn time but...
Can't you... try and imagine how I feel right now?
You're kind of my very best friend.
Can't you... just try and think of something that doesn't make me so miserable?
Instead of telling me about your new friends?
The more friends you have, the less needed I become.
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Post by ✠Kim✝ on Dec 22, 2009 20:50:04 GMT -5
Why do these bad things happen around Christmas?
So much fighting.
So much drama.
So much lies.
So much hate.
So much pain.
So much everything.
That's just my luck.
Are you mad at me still? It would be nice to know.
<3
Excuse me, but hasn't anyone noticed I've been trying to make up for what I've done? Obviously not. But maybe I'm wrong.
Goddammit. No one understands anything I do. I do some of these things for a reason, some as an accident, and others just to get my anger out.
Your so confusing. Yes. I am a bit of a hypocrite. So are you. Shut the fuck up.
I'm not even in a bad mood. This is hardly a vent. And once again. No. This is NOT directed to one individual just a few. And don't take it personally. That would be stupid.
I want to talk to some people. That'd make me happy. So very, VERY happy. You probably know who you are.
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Post by haley. on Dec 23, 2009 13:16:05 GMT -5
GOD
I WISH I HAD NEVER EVEN MENTIONED DOING THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE
YOU CAN GO TOO, IF YOU WANT
just stop, please. i cannot cope with someone else ditching me like this. if it's going to happen, just let it happen now, please.
i can't hold you down forever. nothing lasts forever. but if this is what's going to happen, just let it happen now, because i can't do this.
i can't admit to myself that bailey left me and then watch you be so fucking happy with people you've known for like, a month.
just because i LOOK fine and i'm not constantly TELLING YOU how miserable i am, doesn't mean i'm ok. |
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Post by haley. on Dec 23, 2009 13:50:03 GMT -5
don't leave me
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Post by __molii ★ on Dec 23, 2009 17:06:25 GMT -5
i'm not leaving you, ever. |
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Post by ✠Kim✝ on Dec 24, 2009 1:07:43 GMT -5
Mm. Yeah. Okay.
Be like that.
You change to much and to fast.
It's quite annoying.
What are you? No, more like, who are you?
Did I just leave all your thoughts with no trace of evidence that they where ever there?
Who knows.
I don't.
You don't.
No one does.
It's a mystery. |
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Post by ✠Kim✝ on Dec 24, 2009 23:50:24 GMT -5
You're afraid of people letting you go
While you, are letting people go, yourself
I have a feeling that those people you are "letting go".. don't want you to "let go" of them..
But you do it anyway.
Now, this may sound quite hypocritical, but, really? Your favoring people now? Bullshit.
Your not the only one with feelings. Incase you didn't know, everyone has feelings, my dear.
Perhaps I should forget about you, let you go, favor people right "infront" of you? Would you like that? I think not.
This vent. Is directed to a few people. NONE OF YOU GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.
And Merry Christmas. I'm srs.
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Post by __molii ★ on Dec 25, 2009 10:53:40 GMT -5
I AM SO NOT AMUSED BY ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU SAY. |
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Post by haley. on Dec 25, 2009 21:18:30 GMT -5
Would you knock it off?
My sympathy only covers for so many things.
Stop while your ahead before I hurt your feelings.
Also;
I wish people didn't think I was so goddamn sweet all the time.
Haley, you're so cute. Look at Haley, she looks so cute - and she's such a sweetheart. Haley couldn't hurt a fly if she tried.
Fuck you.
You don't know me.
I want to wring most of your necks most of the time.
So please;
Everyone;
Shut the hell up.
Because I don't think anyone cares anymore. |
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Post by ✠Kim✝ on Dec 25, 2009 22:16:17 GMT -5
HOLY FUCK. LEARN TO DRIVE BEFORE YOU PUT ME IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR. WE WENT TO GO SEE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. NOT TO BREAK OUR BONES.  |
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Post by haley. on Dec 25, 2009 23:38:33 GMT -5
ahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Oh wow, am I still jealous?
Allow me to just sort of kill myself. |
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