The Vent Thread

[✠Kim✝]

_{Why wont you answer me?}
I want to talk to you.
I feel like you're starting to forget about me.
Please don't. I love you too much for you to do that.

[haley.]

WHAT? WHAT THE HELL, GRANDMA. THOSE NUGGETS WERE MINE. :[ I MADE THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE, THE ONLY THING I CAN FUCKING HAVE RIGHT NOW. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING ME SHARE THEM WITH LEXI? ...THEY'RE MY LUNCH. IF SHE WANTED THEM SO BADLY SHE COULD GET OFF THE SIMS AND MAKE SOME HERSELF.

|:c fuck you.

stop coddling her. she's nine. and she can't fucking stay in her own bed because she has to have a movie on and the second i fall asleep she rushes downstairs and gets in the bed with PAP so you sleep in the extra bedroom.

the longer you do this, the more you hurt her.

AND STOP MAKING ME FEEL BAD!!

i know i'm bigger than her. i know. i hit her because SHE FUCKING HITS ME FIRST. i know i'm bigger than her. BUT IT'S NOT AS IF I'M TACKLING HER AND BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF HER. I'M JUST HITTING HER WRIST BECAUSE IT SEEMS THE INFLICTING PAIN IS THE ONLY GODDAMN WAY TO GET HER TO LISTEN TO ME.

I CAN'T FUCKING GET OUT OF MY BED BECAUSE I'M TOO DAMN WEAK AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT LEXI NOT HAVING ENOUGH GODDAMN NUGGETS.

[haley.]

I DON'T HAVE THIS MUCH PATIENCE, OK








god, someone just bring her back to me. so i can hug her and hit her and kick her and love her and tie her up and burn her down.
i want to know.

[✠Kim✝]

Okay.
I just want to scream until I can't scream anymore.
I want to scream so loud so everyone will hear me.
I want people to actually listen to me.
It's like when I talk nothing is coming out. But a lot is coming out of my mouth. You just continue to ignore it.
So if I scream, maybe you'll hear me.

[✠Kim✝]

Way to kill my fucking mood.
I don't care about that.
It isn't funny. It gets me jealous.
I've known you for like two months and I had to tell you to stop at least 10 times.
Good god.

[JustBethan]

OMG There is this girl I know from Deviantart... attually I met her on Gaia years ago but for some reason I randomly talkd to her about her signiture through PMs... I think it was a Sonic x screen shot with her FC yellow wolf init 'cause they were paired and stuff. It was in a Xaiolin Showdown Guid for RP and I jsut noticed her for some reason she just stood out... And I recognised the sig to be Sonic which I played as a kid and was crazy for, but I'd never watched Sonic X and stuff, but befor ethat someone else's sig on Gaia lnked to her shadow-recolour character named Snow I think her username was BlizzardWolf? and I was liek 'pft I can draw better than that and not recolour!' fcourse, I couldn't.
But this girl form the XaiolinShowdown quild I PMed her about if and for some reason I got into Sonic through her.
She... surprised me a little... Annoied? nah I thought she did but I still wanted to talk to her so she mustn't have.
A while after that be became friends and RP'd a bit and then I joined dA and stopped going on Gaia... for some reason or an other later on I saw he again and we re-met on dA and I was shocked because I'd never been attached to a firend online before... they were jsut there for a moment then left and that was that, fun while it laster right?
But this girl... I dunno she was somewhat magical... changed me into what I am today... I think she's one of the main rasons I started... and kept on... drawing... because she gave me so much feedback!
I dunno i kinda got... obbessed with her from then on... But I was so consummed in myself and my own page that I forgot to do what she does, Stalk her, you know and befriend her friends and stuff so I'd never leave her... like cancer. But eventually she left the Sonic fandom and joined somweird cartoon's fanodm... it took me a while to join the El Tigre fandom then and then we all consummed in iScribble... me her and her friends that is.
And it was fun, I didn't need to attually watch the whole thing to be in the fandom and enjoy it... good fandoms are like that.
Then soon enough we went our separat ways into the new cartoons and I got re-into SoulEater... and I remember her saying she didn't like Animu but I still forced her into it because that's what I do... I'm so over bearing.
Eventually she started watchign it... I remember her liking the Mummy of Kid's prolog... But then she moved onto bigger and better things... like Black*Star and Kid/B*S. And then again I thought I might as well milk her liking this for all it's worth and I forcedher into Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, again she liked it which was cool.
Somewhere along the wa we all went our diffrent ways again and I went back to the Sonic Fandom solely to milk it I guess... because I'm cold hearted like that. I think she kept o with TTGL and SE for a while then went onto Hetalia? Well at that moment I got hooked and obbessed with OnePiece and once again I tried to force her into it but this time... I failed. I guess it was a case of TL;DR?
After a while of that I gave up and thought that I might as well enjoy it myself but she doens't have to... but then I got really worried... I mean like... What if us being in diffrent fandoms tears us appart again? I got so worried so I though instead of forcing her into my fandom I should go into her's! Which was fine 'cause I read a bit of the webcomic before it turned into an animu ages ago! So I did. And I thought I'd surprise her by drawing her somethign epiclly cool... Like France ringing up England in the middle of the night... Whispering sweet nothings down the phone line... But then I forgot I couldnt draw so I gave ti a rest and decided to jsut watch more of the weird Geography show.
But then I got all emond emotionally depressed and whent on a rant attack against her for... ...God knows why.
But then, right on the second, she just... cheered me up... because she does that... I don't know how... she may jsut burry it but maybe if she keep burrying these things eventually they'll meet the core and burn away?
And then... then I was speachless and didn't know what to say... So I'll say this.

That stupid, stupid, bitch girl from Xaiolin and Sonic fandom who changed me so much and matturified me even though she's younger, whom I love to pieces is such a bith!
WHY?
Because she makes me speachless thus many times that I don't even know how to reply makign me, feel like a total dork.
Join together and let us be annoied at that amazingless to this fool named
[glow=magenta,3,600]JADED[/glow]

[✠Kim✝]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HA
If it's and inside joke. Then why don't you try and keep it inside between you two, and not spread it around.
because then other people get curious, so they ask
then you get mad because it's an inside joke
then they feel upset and you're like "well you shouldn't have asked it's a joke between us"
UHM HELLO. IF IT'S A JOKE BETWEEN YOU KEEP IN INSIDE.


Hahahahaha. You know when you do that you get others jealous? NO NOT JUST ME. I've talked to several other people who get jealous from it too. It's like you're rubbing it in our faces. Like it's the best thing ever. LIKE EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT IT - NO. No they shouldn't. It isn't that great either.
B(

[JustBethan]

OH OH
MAI
There's this other girl.
Her name's Bethan
She's a twat face who'se self involed, go slap her.

[haley.]

you know.
when i say i love you, i mean it. i'm not saying it to shut you up, i'm not saying it to trick you or try and make you think i'm nice or whatever, i'm saying it because i really do love you.
and if you think i don't mean it, it shows how much you trust me.


i wish you would trust me.
because sometimes i know you don't.

i wish you would trust me.

[✠Kim✝]

I

always

ruin

something

[haley.]

sometimes i really just want a break.
sometimes i feel so overwhelmed.

if i leave, everything would fall apart.

this tension all around me making me sore and stiff and tired and sick... i can't keep doing it all the time.

ugh, i don't know.

[JustBethan]

A FROG.

ANNOIES ME.

[haley.]

bedtime rants. i think i need to get some things out.

I really suck.
I really, really suck.

I can't do anything. Sometimes I just kind of want to fade into the background and then DIE. Yeah, sometimes I Just kind of want all of you to forget about me so I can disappear. I mean, I don't know what my deal is. I told myself I wanted to cheer up but I just... God, it's like... Things change... and then some things don't. I DON'T CARE IF ANY OF YOU GUYS READING THIS DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

I don't know. I hate myself for pairing up my fucking OC's with canon characters. And I continue to do it. I MAKE ALL THIS ART FOR MY CANON/OC PAIRINGS, and i post none of it up because it makes me so... nervous. But I LIKE a lot of Canon/OC pairings. Like. I'm not just LIKING them because they're my friends - I've seen some Canon/OC pairings from people I don't even know, but I still like them. But I know people that HATE Canon/OC in general. I mean, sometimes I Just kind of want to delete all the canon/OC pics in my gallery and just stop doing it altogether. I seem to be constantly afraid that someone's going to judge me. And no, Jade. This is in no way a response to your previous vent. I'm just now realizing how much it scares me. I have people who really watch my art and who religiously comment, fav, give me feedback... And just... ARGH.

AND MIRA. ALL THE FUCKING TIME NOTING ME. I DON'T WANT YOUR GODDAMN NOTES. GOD, WHY DID I START TALKING TO YOU AGAIN? WHY DID I EVER GET INVOLVED IN THAT DRAMA AT ALL? GOD YOU PISS ME OFF but you're my fffrrriiieeennnndsjopipej;rklSEroiP:SELKR GOD. OOH, I'M ON YOUR LOVELIST-- FUCK YOU. I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANYMORE ART.

And ARIEL. You're pissing me off. With your empty little laugh you use when you don't think what I just said was funny AT ALL. So just TELL ME?

pressure pressure pressure pressure

I'm the closest person to Ariel; Laura won't open up REALLY to anyone but me; Kim hangs on every word I say and thinks so highly of me, when I don't deserve it all; I miss Molii so damn much and when she comes back to see all the people I've been talking to she's going to think I replaced her and she's going to be upset, and that alone makes me want to stop talking to EVERYONE ELSE and just wait for her but... Ah... Whitney comments on ALL MY JOURNALS, ALL MY POLLS, ///ALL/// MY PICTURES, but I NEVER respond... she gives me art, writes me things... Why don't I reply? I mean... FFF.

AND DAD. TAKE YOU AND YOUR FUCK CRAZY GIRLFRIEND AND... LEAVE ME AND LEXI ALONE. YEAH, LEXI WANTS TO COME OVER AND TALK WITH JENNY - SHE JUST LIKES THE IDEA OF HAVING A SECOND MOM, BECAUSE SOME KIDS HER AGE HAVE THAT. I KNOW LEXI.
Seriously, Dad, Frank, please. I still don't know how I feel about you LEAVING ME WHEN I WAS ON THE VERGE OF GOING INTO A FUCKING GODDAMN COMA, so no, I DON'T WANT TO COME OVER TO MEET FUCKING. JENNY. Sometimes I think about what it was like when you were still here and I burst into fucking tears. But at the sametime.... I want you to just... go. And move on. And stop trying to get me to decide about how I feel about you because I'm not going to give you an answer anytime soon.

Bailey, Please come back and say you love me. Come back, and have flowery explanations for everything. Please help me. I can't hold this all by myself. I still want to hear your voice. I want to cry with you. I want to tell you everything. I want to giggle and smile when I hear or see a word from you. I want to take all your problems and shove mine aside and just love you. Because I love you. I don't want to love you, but I do. I love you so, so much. Even if you hate me, if I bore you - if WE bore you. Even if your friend blocked me from myspace, even if you never, ever come back. I'm going to be so fucking in love with you. Do you have any idea how stupid that is? You're my sorespot. I love you, I hate you, I can't keep my hands off you. It's so sad and stupid and just typing this has my throat clogged up, and I can't believe you've done this to me, and I can't believe I'm so willing to forgive you.

I am so uncreative and typical. I am so ugly and lying and two-faced and judgmental and emotional. God, I want help. God, I want to know what to do. Because I don't know what to do. I don't.

God, I'm so tired, and scared, and... everything.

[✠Kim✝]

haha..
I have to wake up to screaming and fighting again?
oh that's just pleasant.

[haley.]

hhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyppppppooooooocccccccccrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiittttttteeee


HYPOCRITE.